A number of years ago leadership expert, speaker and best selling author John C. Maxwell wrote a book entitled The Difference Maker. Because we all hear how important it is to have a good attitude, he felt it was important to write a book explaining what a good attitude can and cannot do for people. While attitude isn’t everything, it is, as he says in the title, The Difference Maker.
Let’s look at three things your attitude cannot do for you. Your Attitude:
Cannot Substitute for Competence. No matter how great your attitude, if you don’t have the skill or competence for a certain task, you will never get to where you want to go. John Maxwell uses the example of being an opera singer. He loves to sing and would love to sing opera, unfortunately he simply cannot sing. All the voice coaches in the world and all the practice would not make him an opera singer. It is not an attitude problem; it’s a competence problem.
Cannot Change the Facts. Facts are facts. You can have a terrific attitude yet if you are 5′ you’ll never be a center in the NBA. As Maya Angelou said: “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain.”
Cannot Substitute for Personal Growth. With just a few words, Bruce Springsteen said it perfectly: “A time comes when you need to stop waiting for the man you want to become and start being the man you want to be.”
Now that you know a few of the things attitude cannot do for you, let’s talk about what it can do. Your Attitude:
Makes a Difference in Your Approach to Life. This is the flip of an oft heard phrase. Think “all’s well that begins well” rather than “all’s well that ends well.” Your attitude going into a project, a game, a relationship or virtually any situation is a determining factor in the outcome. Whether you are talking about Monday morning pep talks or pre-game talks, the purpose is always the same—to lift up, improve people’s attitudes.
Makes a Difference in your Relationships with People. Your attitude towards people has a huge impact on your relationship skills. If people consistently have a difficult time with others or continually experience failed relationships, it’s almost always an attitude issue. They need to look at their attitude towards others.
Makes a Difference in How you Face Challenges. When you read the many and varied success stories of triumph over adversity, you realize that the common denominator is how those people responded to the challenge. Their successes were not a matter of background, education, ability, wealth or connections, rather it was their attitudes that caused them to persist when others would quit.
In closing I will give you a few lines from Chuck Swindoll who wrote the great piece The Power of Attitude:
“The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we embrace for that day. We cannot change our past . . . . We cannot change the fact that people act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude . . . . I am convinced that life is 10 percent what happens to me and 90 percent how I react to it, and so it is with you . . . . We are in charge of our attitudes.”
Isn’t that great news?
janet@janetcallaway.com
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Aloha Janet,
What a powerful and inspiring message you’re sharing here. Yes, it’s great news that “we are in charge of our attitude.”
I think of attitude as the internal feeling that influences our behaviour or actions. So, if we’re having a negative feeling on the inside, it will definitely show on the outside and that’s what people will see.
This article will help us to keep embracing the power of positive attitude to make a difference in our lives.
Thanks for sharing the inspiration, Janet.
Aloha,
Mavis
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Mavis, aloha. Like your thought of attitude being the “internal feeling that influences our behaviour or actions.”
You are so right that if people choose to embrace the power of positive attitude, their lives will be much more what they want instead of what they don’t want.
Thx for stopping by and sharing your insights. Aloha. Janet
Attitumate.. ahem!
I’m not sure what aspect of it is I am going to discuss here, as I read some of it aspects here in your post.
I think it has many faces. (lol sorry for my english)
But in my case we don’t need to have attitude, but we need to have that much attitude so that we can believe our self and for enough self confidence.
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Usman, right you are that we need to believe in ourselves and have self confidence. With that, we can do anything. Thx so much for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. Aloha. Janet
Right and you covered these points handsomely.
you’re welcome.
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Mahalo, Usman.
Hey Janet,
Very inspiring and thoughtful post. I agree with all your points except one. Attitude cannot substitute for personal growth? I just can’t say so!
When we strongly want “some aspect” of ourselves, I think our attitude can bring it up in time. How long is certainly a question. According to me if our attitude is not strong enough, it takes quite long to become that man or sometimes it becomes even impossible.
In all this I am assuming positive attitude and a positive aspect to expect from.
But may be I have misunderstood and should ask you to make it clear.
Cheers,
Jane.
Jane | Find All Answers recently posted..5 Simple Ways to Break the Habit of Anger
Jane, aloha. To me, personal growth is more than an attitude. If a person has a positive attitude about life yet has no desire to learn or improve, the attitude remains just that–positive. In order to become more, we must want to be more. If the desire is not there, it will not happen no matter how positive our attitude.
In my opinion, it would be unfortunate if someone had a positive outlook on life and yet made no effort to expand. That being said, I respect that each person chooses the life they live. Their life choices and values certainly do not have to be in alignment with mine.
Personal growth/development is a passion of mine. I love learning new information, applying it in my life and sharing it with others.
Thx so much for stopping by and making your thoughtful comment. Aloha. Janet
Janet:
I appreciate the careful balancing act you do in this post. Taking the time to outline what attitude cannot do before jumping into what attitude can do… suggests certain insight and experience.
I confess that I am a fan of that HR and Customer Service cliche, “Choose your attitude.” But I can also confess that I do not have the patience to suffer the untimely, mis-applied or short-winded optimism of others. Because it wastes time – usually mine. [grin]
Excellent post, Janet. Thank you.
Best regards,
Stan Faryna
http://www.twitter.com/Faryna
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Stan, aloha. Thx so much for stopping by and commenting. Your candor is appreciate and, I must admit, made me smile.
Since time we can never get more time, it is best not to ever let it be wasted–especially by anyone else. As you know so well, Stan, what we choose to do with our time, is a significant factor in determining the quality of our lives. Aloha. Janet
Janet, Your post and the quote is a wonderful reminder of the powerful impact attitude has on our lives. Our attitudes are what sets pace for our lives, whatever the outcome is, is based on our attitude.
The only statement I have to question is, “No matter how great your attitude, if you don’t have the skill or competence for a certain task, you will never get to where you want to go. John Maxwell uses the example of being an opera singer.”
There are some acceptions to that rule. There are a few stars that can’t sing but they manage to get a record deal and make songs anyway. There are people who can’t act, but they find away to get directors to hire them for roles in their movies. These individuals attitude is no matter what they are going to achieve their goals. This positive attitude attracts opportunities to them.
~Tisha
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Tisha, aloha. Thx for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. You are right that there are singers who have deals who are not the best just as there are actors who talents are less than stellar. Though they do have the deals, that does not make them great singers or actors; they still lack the talent for their particular vocation.
What they do have, without a doubt, is a strong work ethic and a willingness to persist. Their goals may not have been to be a great singer or actor; their goals may have been to perform in front of people. Singing/acting was the vehicle that allowed them to accomplsih that goal; it did not make them great at singing/acting.
In those cases, I would say attitude along with persistence had something to do with it. Also, of course, who is a good singer/actor depends on the person doing the reviewing.
Tisha, I always appreciate your thoughtful comments. Thx again for stopping by. Aloha. Janet
P.S. Probably the rule or law of gravity is one of the few without exceptions.
Hi Janet,
I love this post. Ironically, it reminds me of attending a survival school in the Blue Ridge Mountains in Virgina a few years ago.
Our instructor gave us a list of priorities for surviving in the wild. Shelter, water, fire, and food were the top priorities, in that exact order. But, he said, there is one factor that will save your life that is even more important than all these. He then wrote on the board, “Attitude is key.”
I’ve never forgotten that.
I also used to be in a hard rock band, in the 1980′s. I was auditioning guitar players one day, when this young man walked into the studio who looked like a rock star. He had long black hair, wore leather, and was super thin. He had just the right amount of arrogance, and a bunch of equipment.
Then I heard him play. I almost cried. He was atrocious. I never really fancied myself a guitar player, but I was better than this kid. I was sad for him, really.
Attitude is immensely important in network marketing. There are so many ups and downs, sometimes your attitude is all you have.
Excellent post. Thanks for sharing!
Gregor
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Gregory, aloha. Your story on the survival school is terrific. No doubt, if you think you are not going to “make it out alive” or without injury, you will not. Thank you for the great tie down, Gregory.
Your story on the guitar player brought a smile to my face because how often because someone “looks the part” to we give them credit for “being the part?” Unfortunately, your ears told you that the looks weren’t backed up by talent.
Yes, you are are right, Gregory, that sometimes in the roller coast ride of network marketing holding onto our attitude is about all we have.
Thx so much for stopping by and sharing your insights. Aloha. Janet
Hi Janet,
I like your breakdown of what attitude does for us and what not. It’s definitely not a substitute for skills. On the other hand, I believe that a good attitude helps us to learn the skills more easily and more quickly.
Attitude is not everything, but without attitude everything else is nothing.
Thanks for sharing your insights.
Take care
Oliver
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Hi Janet,
Loved this post and oh so inspiring. I have read John’s book and really enjoyed it so much. I can definitely relate to the wanting to be a singer. That is something I always wanted more than anything but the fact is that I just cannot sing. Oh sure, I can carry a tune but don’t turn the music down or you guys will run from the room. LOL!!!
I am a firm believer that your attitude has a lot to do with the person you are and what happens to you in your life. But you also have to take action and not just sit back and have a positive attitude thinking that because you believe you deserve more, it will apprear. I think that is where a lot of people misunderstand this concept.
Love the inspiration you’ve shared with us and I so enjoy visiting your blog. Will definitely be back for more.
Adrienne
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Adrienne, aloha. Your comments made my heart sing and brought a smile to my face. Why is it that we only sound good singing when the music is going and we are singing along? As long as we enjoy it and it brings us pleasure, that is all that matters.
Atittude + Action = Winning Combination!
Again, Adrienne, thx so much for your kind words. Look forward to seeing you again soon. You inspire me to write more. Aloha. Janet
I am kind of new to your blog and never really thought about anything you blog about. I always give my sister in law a hard time because she is always reading theses types of books and then handing them down to us. I always think here we go again. LOL but maybe I will read one of those books now.
I hope I did not offend anyone with this comment. I was just saying how I used to think and after a couple of your posts I am thinking about reading one. again no pun intended.
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Eric, aloha. If you started reading some books as a result of my posts, I would be thrilled. When you read them, you will find you will not always agree with what they say. However, Eric, the value in that is that it clarifies in your mind why you disagree with them.
Also, reading books gives you a new way to look at things and expands your creativity. The more expansive and creative you are, the better for business–and I know you love business!
If you would like, if you send me an e-mail with the names of a few of the books your sister-in-law has handed down, I will give you my recommendation on which book(s) I think would be good starter.
Eric, if you do get into reading, you will find it opens up a new world for you.
Thx for stopping by and honestly sharing your thoughts. I appreciate your candor. Aloha. Janet
Aloha Janet… You know the other day I was talking with my mom and telling her about some personal issues I was having. I surprised her a bit, because she knows that typically I let 99.9% of stuff roll off my back. So if I say that something upset me, it’s really something special – so to speak.
I – in turn – was equally surprised that SHE was surprised, LOL! It made me step back and reconsider the attitude I had adopted for the situation. My life is good. My health is good. I’ve got food in the fridge, clothes on my back and a nice roof over my head. Life isn’t perfect… but certainly not as bad as I imagine it to be in my head.
I was feeling a little out of sorts today… but your post brought me back to myself.
Cyberhugs!
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Dahlia, aloha. Your comments absolutely made my day. Thx so much. Wishing you cyberhugs and much aloha. Janet
Aloha Janet,
Very powerful and inspiring message you are sending in this post. People can sense your mood, even over the phone. Where does your mood come from? Well it starts with your attitude. If you have a positive outlook everyday, people will respond to you in a positive way, but if you are even thinking negatively it will come out in your voice and actions.
It can be hard to always have a positive outlook, especially when you are new to IM and haven’t had any success yet. Whenever I feel myself thinking negatively, I like to step back for a moment and think about why I am thinking negatively. Usually it is because of some stupid little thing that happened to me or I didn’t close a sale when I thought it was a forgone conclusion. In any case, the reason I am negative, usually is very unimportant in the whole scope of things, so why am I dwelling on it. I then, try to think about all of the positive things in my life and boom, my attitude will change.
This may not work for every situtation, but it does for me in most. My point is, find something that will make you happy and whenever that bad attitude starts to creep in. Take a step back and do what you need to do, to start thinking positively again, because if you are working with a negative attitude, the only person you are hurting is yourself.
Thanks for sharing Janet and have a great day!
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Ian, aloha. Thx so much for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. Your idea of stepping back and asking yourself why you are thinking negatively is, I believe, key to once more going forward in the direction your want.
Your comment about “some stupid little ting” made me smile because, unfortunately, I think most of us tend to let ourselves get distracted by the little things rather than keeping our focus.
Your insights will go a long way to helping other readers keep their priorities in alignment. Thx so much, Ian. Aloha. Janet
Hi Janet,
Yes, a positive attitude is a must but like you say, if you can’t sing – no matter how positive you are – the The Metropolitan Opera is not in your future! LOL. My daughter sings, dances, and acts – and actually does have a lot of talent. The problem being that performing is a VERY difficult and highly competitive field (there are TONS of others with just as much and more talent than she has). Although I want her to succeed, I do often say “My daughter wants to be Miley Cyrus but her father is NOT Billy Ray” – that is a fact! 
Great post. I love the way you balance one’s attitude with some things that even a good attitude can’t help – like competence and facts – period
Julie Weishaar recently posted..Online and Offline Networking Etiquette
Julie, aloha. From seeing and hearing the video, I know your daughter has talent. Thx for the perfect example of attitude, competence and fact. No doubt about it, having Billy Ray as her father would have moved her much faster towards being a Miley.
Let’s hope she continues her optimistic attitude while developing her talent so that when she attracts an opportunity, she is ready.
Look forward to visiting your blog to see what’s new in the world of video. Have a great day. Aloha. Janet
Thanks Janet. Now if her father WERE Billy Ray – many things would have been different
Julie Weishaar recently posted..Online and Offline Networking Etiquette
Yes, Julie, in more ways than one!
Great post Janet! I used to work for a large non-profit and one of my colleagues was a manager in our fund raising department. She became a life long friend because one of my favorite things about her was her positive attitude.
Being an IT person, I used to dread the thought of ever having to ask my vendors for donations. She told me that she kept a mirror by her phone to make sure that she was smiling whenever she was talking to someone. Great tip and just shows you how important it is to be positive.
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Sherryl, aloha. Years ago I was a free lance fund raising consultant. During that time, I met many people who, like you, were reluctant to ask for donations. One of the reasons for my success, was I taught them how to feel good about asking. Should you find yourself in that situation with clients again, let me know and I will share a few tips with you.
Thx for sharing how non-profit’s management was able to help with her mirror suggestion. Her advice of having a mirror handy to make sure she was smiling is a good one. Mahalo and aloha. Janet
Aloha to you Janet
This post as awesome, timely and so well balanced, it really made me think, alongside, hammering home a few ignored home truths.
I love that Bruce springsteen qoute-in fact it made my kind of emotional. Some of this simplest words, can touch us in the most complex places. You reaffirmed, and taught me a lot here. I remember always wanting to be a singer as a young girl. I sung all the time, still do. Whilst I was good, there came a time when I had to realise, I’d never be good enough, I quite simply lacked the natural level of competence it took to succeed and compete in that field. Giving up that dream was hard, but allowed me to find other passions, where I did have higher levels of competence. lOVE THIS
Stacey, aloha. Thx so much for your kind words and letting me know this post resonated with you.
When I read the word “ignored” in your comments, I smiled. However, when I read “Giving up that dream was hard, but allowed me to find other passions, where I did have higher levels of competence” literally made my heart sing. Stacey, I felt so good when I read this and so happy for you that you put your energy elsewhere. Now you can enjoy your singing while you follow other passions that speak to a different part of you.
Thx so much for your insights and candor. Aloha. Janet
Hi Janet,
There’s a saying in reality therapy, “You can’t change the wind but you can adjust your sails.” I agree that attitude is what makes the difference. Making the most of what one has, truly savoring the beautiful moments, consistently putting one foot in front of the other during the difficult times knowing better times are ahead – all attitude.
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Catherine, aloha. What a beautifully stated response, Catherine. Thank you for so eloquently sharing your thoughts. Best wishes for a terrific week. Aloha. Janet
Janet
I read the title of your post and knew I had to read on.
I especially appreciated the Bruce Springsteen quote you referred to regarding that time in one’s life when you “start to become”…
I appreciated this post very much.
Catherine, aloha. Thx for letting me this “hit the spot” with you. That Springsteen quote is so on the mark. It makes you stop, thank and, hopefully, take action. Best wishes for a great day. Aloha. Janet
Wonderful Post!
Your approach to any given situation definately determines the outcome. – the outcome of the situation may not be positive. However, by approaching it positively you give yourself permission to continue the positive through the entire process. Even with a not so good outcome, you still come out the other side feeling better.
And I loved your closing! You may not be able to change people or circumstances, but you definately hate the opportunity to change your attitude. That makes all the difference in the world!
Thanks
TAM
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Tammy, aloha. Thx so much for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. So appreciate your comment ” . . you give yourself permission . . .” which says it all. Choose to choose.
Best wishes for a terrific day. Look forward to seeing you again. Aloha. Janet
Hi Janet,
For a time now, I’ve enjoyed reciting this (as you mentioned):
“I am convinced that life is 10 percent what happens to me and 90 percent how I react to it, and so it is with you . . . . We are in charge of our attitudes.”
It’s so true. How we react to situations and the subsequent attitude we choose are our choice. We make those decisions. We have all the control. What we all sometimes fail to realize is how much control we truly have.
Some things you can’t control. You won’t be an NBA center. Your car won’t start or you get a flat. Your boss or client is condescending and abrasive. So what. All of those things are the way they are whether you like it or not.
Choose happiness. Choose to be the person you know you’ve thought of being or becoming. I look at every small choice day in and day out being a part of that journey. Every thought along the way is a reaction to some sort of action or stimuli throughout your day.
React positively. Smile.
That was helpful how you illustrated the distinction between a matter of attitude and one of competence with John Maxwell. Thanks!
Enough out of me, you get me rambling sometimes and it’s almost bed time
Jon
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Bedtime? It’s only 4:30 in the afternoon?
Doesn’t it make you wonder, Jon, when happiness is a choice, why people would ever choose anything else? Like you, my choices throughout the day are very conscious.
Bruce Springsteen said it so well when he said: “A time comes when you need to stop waiting for the man you want to become and start being the man you want to be.”
Thx so much for stopping by and sharing your thoughts, Jon. Look forward to seeing you soon. In fact, I think I will head on over to your blog to see what new info and insights you have to share with me. See you soon. Aloha. Janet