Well, do you?
Or do you think you have to figure it out yourself?
If you are in a contest and need votes, do you let people know so they can support you?
Why do you suppose people are so reluctant to ask for help?
In the first example, people may want to be able to say they figured it out themselves—never mind that they wasted hours that could have more productively been spent elsewhere.
In the second example, they may be embarrassed to say that they want to win or they don’t want to inconvenience someone or ________
Recently several of my online friends were part of various contests. In some instances, only a single click of a button once a day was needed while in others tweets, shares and comments were needed over a sustained period of time. Though they all started their requests with a disclaimer that it was difficult to ask, I am so glad they asked because it gave me the opportunity to support them. It’s easy to say words; taking action puts proof to the words.
From what I observed in these recent contests as well as in various requests for donations, the online community is very responsive both in terms participation and by spreading the word.
Because of that crowd funding sites are developing which allow both individuals and communities to support a friend or a project–be it to fund a business, an idea or a cause.
Personally, I like this idea because I like to help people. Also, I know from my days as a fund raising consultant that every little bit adds up. When you look at the success of KIVA, a slightly different model, you can see how many lives have been changed because of a little bit of money loaned by a lot of people.
Now it is my turn to do the disclaimer and let you know it is hard for me to ask for help. Yet, I am going to do it and ask you to support me in my venture through crowd funding. Rather than go into the details, I am going to give you this link to click so you can learn all about it.
In addition to raising the funds to proceed with this venture, I will learn the ins and outs of crowd funding. (Believe me, it took a while to put together what you will see on the site.) What I am going to do then is to share that experience with you because I believe knowing about crowd funding could be of benefit for many of you who have a special project you would like to create.
When I hit publish, you, my online friends and social media community, will be the first to know about this project. In closing, let me ask you this. If we were meeting face-to-face, would you be willing to buy me a cup of coffee, a glass of wine or even lunch? If so, please buy me a virtual cup of coffee, glass of wine or lunch by contributing to the fund. As you will see, I have plenty of perks to give you in exchange for your support.
Please help me by Paying It Forward.
My promise to you is that I will continue to Pay It Forward.
Are you familiar with crowd funding?
Do you see where it can be of benefit for so many different people and projects?
Will you help me by donating money and/or spreading the word via tweets and shares?
If you think this would be helpful for others, please help me spread the word. “Tweet it” “Like It” “Share It” or “Digg It” or “Stumble” below.
Please do give me your feed back and comments. Let’s exchange ideas below. Leave any thoughts or questions you may have and I will get back with you.
Janet Callaway, The Natural Networker Home Page
janet@janetcallaway.com
The Natural Networker Newsletter FREE Personal Development, Business & Health Tips.
Advice which may not appear in my posts.
Hi Janet,
I am one of those people that also has difficulty asking for help. But I agree that we must be willing to “put it out there” if we want others to respond.
I checked out your link and what you are doing sounds very helpful and smart. Being a homeowner for over 14 years has taught me that we can never have too much information when it comes to educating ourselves with our real estate.
Give me some time to get the funds over to you.
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Justin, aloha. Thanks so much for your comment. To hear your perspective as a home owner and that you see that need for such a digital resource, means the world to me. Justin, I truly appreciate the fact that you took the time to check out the information.
Also, Justin, I appreciate the fact that when the timing works, you will be picking up one of the Residence Perks that await contributors.
Since this post only went Live a few hours ago and you are the first commenter, your comment absolutely made my day. Thank you. Best wishes for a Spectacular Sunday. Until later, aloha. Janet
Hi Janet!
I went to finish my donation and will have to come back later when everyone wakes up! My info is written in my address book. One of the kids took it to their room. But, I wanted to say that thank you for this post anyways. I don’t think it ever gets easy to ask for help. I’ll give it…
I was over at @JohnFalchetto ‘s a few minutes ago http://t.co/pF4YMTPx and REALLY wanted to take him up on his site’s offer for a free consult. But I thought, “Nah. He works with SERIOUS business people. I do a lot on my own because I enjoy learning the ins and outs of something that I can only learn by doing.
When I can see how asking for a donation, or offering something for sale benefits someone’s life, it gets easier. I think I was married with my first child when I realized that if I asked I wouldn’t suffer so much!
Excellent project Janet. It’ll do really well. I’ll be back!
Betsy
Betsy Cross recently posted..Geocaching For the Dead?
Betsy, aloha. Thank you so much for letting me know you will support me financially as well as in other ways. Also, I appreciate your comments in your last project. Though for years I was a free lance fundraising consultant and had no problem asking for donations, it is far more difficult when asking for myself.
That being said, Betsy, I feel it is an excellent growth experience for me in many ways. Quite honestly, it is putting myself “out there” in new ways and I went through quite a number of head games before deciding to do it. Doing this project will give me much information to share with others.
Betsy, I was telling someone about your World Tour for Geocaching the Dead and, believe it or not, that strikes me as something that would appeal to people for crowd funding. At some point, should that be of interest to you, let’s talk about it LIVE rather than through the world’s longest e-mails.
Betsy, two excellent resources to guide you on your blog are: http://blogdesignguy.com and his free 7 day course and then from Tristan over at http://bloggingbookshelf.com you can download a guide. Though I don’t know exactly what you want to accomplish with your blog, both of these gentleman give great advice. Tristan’s site contains lots and lots of downloads as well as “how to” posts. It is one of my favorite online resources.
Again, Betsy, thanks so much for your support. Until later, aloha. Janet
You’re amazing Janet!
Geocaching for the dead/world tour? What do you think would interest people in that?
I’d Skype or Google chat but my stream is so slow AND keeps cutting out that email is all I have for now. Someday I’ll get a new computer…or an Ipod Touch. That would really help with the video-making, too!
Until then, you know where to find me.
Betsy
Betsy Cross recently posted..Geocaching For the Dead?
Betsy, aloha. Will put together some thoughts on why and send it to you by e-mail–possibly late today, most likely tomorrow. If you want to discuss further, I still far prefer that old fashioned thing Alexander Graham Bell invented a few years ago. Until later, my friend, aloha. Janet
It is not usually difficult for me to ask for help. Asking for financial support or donations, on the other hand, is much more difficult for me.
Asking for help can be a positive experience for the requester and the requested! Most people are happy to give their time, experience, support and expertise. Oftentimes I find simply asking someone for help boots their confidence by showing you view them as knowledgeable and competent. Providing help to a friend or colleague can also build and strengthen relationships.
When it comes to financial support, things get a bit more complicated. Our society often puts a stigma on discussion of finances, as well as the stigma that those with plenty of money are successful, and those without are unreliable, irresponsible and unfortunate.
Our society also places a significant value on money and stigma makes it more difficult to ask for, and even give financial support to others.
I have no problem with friends asking for financial support, and I have no problem saying no. I am responsible for my own financial wellness, and I know how to take care of my financial wellness. As with all things, there is not obligation or shame in being asked for help, nor is there obligation or shame in accepting or declining.
I was not previously aware of crowd funding, and it’s an interesting idea. Thanks for the thought-provoking topic and opportunity to help if I can.
Chrysta
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Chrysta, aloha. Thanks so much for your well thought out response. You are so right that asking for help can be a positive experience for the requester and the requestee. It does feel good to give of yourself to help others and to know that you have the knowledge or experience that can make a difference for someone.
Chrysta, in putting myself out there to launch this campaign, I have already learned more about myself and grown. No doubt by the time it is over, I will have grown even more. You know what else, Chrysta, I suspect that people who read this, whether or not they comment, will likewise learn about themselves and grow as they think about their reactions to my request.
Yours is a very confident and calm comment. You seem to know exactly where you are, what you feel and why. If others read it and have a knee***** reaction, it would be beneficial for themselves to ask themselves why they are reacting so strongly.
Chrysta, I believe crowd funding is an excellent idea that can be used to benefit so many people/project/causes. By the time I finish this project, I will have learned so much that I will be able to share with others.
Best wishes for a spectacular Sunday, Chrsyta; hope the weather is perfect for scootin’ around. Until next week, aloha. Janet
Asking for help is NOT a weakness as many people believe! It is actually a strength. NOBODY knows it all. Having the confidence to ask for help – in the right way – just shows your humanity, your confidence, and gives others a chance to show theirs!
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Bruce, aloha. Thanks so much for your comment which means the world to me. Hopefully, I did ask in the right way. Wishing you a spectacular Sunday. Until next time, aloha. Janet
I’m a very independent guy in real life and I seldom ask for help since I don’t want to trouble other people. However, asking help for a cause is another thing and I think it is a very honorable thing to do. You help people and it just feels so good when you accomplish something for others who really need some helping hand
Esmael, aloha. Thanks so much for your comment both in terms of asking for help and when you like to give it. Enjoy a great day. Aloha. Janet
Hi Janet,
Important topic here.
I used to be lousy in asking for help. Now I’ve improved. Actually, I just had a helpful talk with my significant other over lunch, discussing the direction of my career. She bounced some productive ideas off me, I shared some…really great insight. I implemented one of the ideas immediately, feel much more clear, and light. I never would have explored these ideas, unless I opened up and ask for some guidance.
It’s fine to be independent, and driven, and a self-starter. It’s even better to be a joint finisher. Our jobs become so much easier when we open up and ask for help. We are all connected. We are all One. Why not use One-ness to your advantage?
Thanks for sharing the super important question here Janet!
RB
Ryan Biddulph recently posted..2 Ways to Create Your Dream Life Quickly with the Law of Attraction
Ryan, aloha. Congratulations to you for asking for input from Kelli. What a great way to make your relationship even stronger. And, of course, it is nice to have another perspective. Sometimes we are too close to the situation to see the forest for the trees.
Your last paragraph is terrific. We are all connected and so it is foolish not to tap into that vast resource. This sentence of yours resonated with me, Ryan:
“It’s even better to be a joint finisher.”
Thanks so much for taking the time to stop by and leave another great comment. Wishing you a terrific week ahead. Until next time, aloha. Janet
Oh Janet, it’s REALLY hard for me to ask for help. I have always been that person that is good at giving but not so good are receiving. The biggest lesson I’ve learned since connecting with more bloggers throughout this year is that it’s so important to just ask. Heck, I ask my readers to reach out to me so why is it so hard for me to do the same!
I think it’s like what Betsy said about John’s site and what he was offering. He’s looking for people who need more help then me so I wouldn’t even consider asking. But you know what, maybe just one piece of advice that he gave could put Betsy in the position that she needs so we all need to stop getting in our own way.
I love your idea and I’ll be more than happy to support you so you can count on me. As soon as I finish my blog commenting for the day, I will be more than happy to give you a donation. And don’t worry, I’ll be sharing and tweeting this one as well.
Have a splendid day Janet and good luck with your new endeavor!
Adrienne
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Adrienne, aloha. Like you, Adrienne, for me it is easier to give than to receive. Yet I know that the process is a two way street. Those who receive want the opportunity to reciprocate, to give back.
Betsy’s situation happens for most people over and over. This is where the terrific advice in “The Four Agreements” comes into play. One of the agreements is “Don’t Make Assumptions.” Betsy “assumed” she should not take advantage of John’s offer because of who she perceives he wants to help and how. Boy, haven’t we all walked down that road? He may well have liked to be in a position, as you say, to give that one little piece of advice that would make all the difference to Betsy.
Adrienne, thank you so much for your support and prompt action. Already I see the donation in the fund and your tweet in the stream Both are so appreciate, Adrienne, as are you.
Like you, Adrienne, I intend to share what I learn from this experience with readers down the line. To me, the concept of crowd funding could be beneficial for many. Until later, aloha. Janet
Interesting article. I was just talking about this with my senseii the other day
He said ~
“People don’t ask for help fearing that people will think them to be weak. They need to ask for help so they can stay strong and help others”.
@AjmaniK
AjmaniK recently posted..On Faith and Seasons
Kumud, aloha. Welcome to my blog; it is always such a pleasure to greet first time visitors–especially when I enjoy reading their tweets in the stream.
Thank you so much for taking the time to stop by, read the post and leave me with that magnificent quote. Kumud, I will think of you when I share that quote with others.
Wishing you a magnificent day. Aloha. Janet
I have learned that one of the best ways to learn about the good in people is to ask for help. There are enormous numbers of people who are generous with their time, money and expertise and the best way to find them is to ask for help.
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Jack, aloha. Seems so simple and so obvious yet you are so right, Jack. Though I have helped many people over the years, this is a first for me. Thanks for your comment, Jack. Until next time, aloha. Janet
We’re on the same wavelength again, Janet, so I won’t write you my usual novelesque comments.. This time.
I do have a question for all of you, though!
Janet, you mentioned how some folks are apologetic when requesting assistance. I’ve heard and read plenty of folks say they immediately ignore a request that is positioned or framed in that manner. Posture is important, I agree.
But what about the folks that sincerely value your time and humbly request assistance in such a manner because they truly respect you? Sometimes, I know I may seem like they want a pity fest but I don’t think that’s always or even usually the case. What do you think?
Recently, I was one of the folks that asked for help and, admittedly, I take on too much on my own.. I have my own demons to deal with there. It’s not a matter of ego or foolish pride but, rather, I’m still assembling an inner circle of people like yourself that I feel I can trust and approach with anything.
You know me, Janet: I’m pretty raw and gritty at times.. Lauri Flaquer described me in a wonderful way recently and I wish she was here to share her beautiful words. Essentially, she said that I don’t care about dressing things up: I tell it how it is but I am not rude. I believe in the message and mission before all else.. After all, how many times do we drive ourselves insane by getting caught up in the details that won’t matter 5 years, 5 months, or even 5 minutes from now?
That said, as transparent as I try to be, I’ve learned to keep some things for my friends, my inner circle, my mastermind groups.. It’s something I am rebuilding as I enter new projects and ventures. It’s simply AMAZING knowing there are still real people like you left, Janet. You are a rare breed and you are appreciated!
I invite you all to use these hash tags (on Twitter, blogs, and other places) I’ve had on rotation, along with some I have found others using…
#youmattertome, #youmatter, #supportathon, #sharingiscaring
I also recommend the tweet chats #leadfromwithin, #ubusensations, and countless others I honestly lost track of sometimes.. There’s plenty of inspiration to be found there!
Thank you for sharing this with me personally, Janet. That means a lot to me.. And it proves what I have said about you at http://yomar.me and http://balancing-life-works.blogspot.com alike. You’re the real deal, my friend!
(((BIG HUG)))
Yomar Lopez recently posted..Triberr Rocks, But Not For The Reasons Most Love It Or Hate It
Got a similar case for you. My last project, in running the PR and social media for a non-profit project, to get a buried mural (under a church in the Mission District of San Francisco) to light, to commission it to be re-painted on a market’s wall – where everyone could see it… we used Kickstarter, with rewards for various levels of donations. Very similar to the Indiegogo thing you are using.
I hope the story may be interesting, perhaps helpful to you. We needed $14K. Before I even came into the mix, the project leads (who were taking nothing for their work – the funds needed would be for muralists and supplies) had several thousand dollars in pledges from a few wealthy sponsors, so we needed to just ask for $8,299. With forty individuals pledging various amounts, we only reached $2,169 – as you can see from the link to the Kickstarter campaign in http://osakabentures.com/2011/03/revitalizing-sanfran-mission-district/ and thus, all was lost, we got nothing.
Now, back to your question: “do you ask for help?” I did, and got the “cold shoulder from nearly everyone I knew. I give you one link (above), but I blogged on this three times, even asked people in our Triberr Tribal Councils – including in Networking Peeps – to help spread the word, since, while being a non-profit project, I REALLY needed this to happen, for my career, which was in its death throes… Nothing.
Of course, I did all that I could do on my own. We got the project in numerous publications in the Bay Area/Northern California, I tweeted, Facebooked, shared in every way I could… A number of strangers shared, and a shockingly tiny number of the people who I had helped with this or that over the last couple years.
So, you know what? When I find someone wanting to win a contest or crowd-fund a for-profit business, I remember the network I have built, all that I have done for others, and the one time that I asked for a LITTLE help. Once. To revitalize the SanFran area, revive a little bit of the area’s history – and to help a guy – me – make a name for himself in social media and PR. And so now, I have learned to expect people to all be out for themselves, but when they come a-knockin’ with their cause or contest they’d like to win, whatever, well, while there is something in me that still yearns to support people, I still remember what support people had for me.
To you, I wish you every success with your campaign, Janet. Crowdfunding is interesting, but my experience tells me that even with the best of intentions, the most pristine o non-profitness, a Christian angle (the Church’s mural), the people I know seem to be “lookin’ out for no. 1,” as we used to say.
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Ok, ok, since you asked, I’m busy sharing this for you, Stumbling, etc.
Thx so much, Saul; appreciate the shares.
Here’s a song for you, Janet, and all of our online friends here.
I get by with a little help from my friends.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EmOtWyjs8iU
As an entrepreneur, I learned a long time ago that we don’t get far without a little help from our friends and family. Because dreams and amazing things do not happen in a vacuum.
Back in 1999, I had a major client not pay a six digit invoice, steal my software, and hire my development team out from under my nose. At a martini lunch, my business partner had given them the personal contact information to people on our development team. Three days later, our world started to fall apart. Within a month, the company was dead. Five years of building a company got flushed in an instant. It would take me two years to make a comeback. But not without a little help from generous friends and family.
But my story is not unique. If you talk to most millionaires, they’ve had their share of very good times and very bad times. What made the difference is three things: they ask for help from their friends and family (again and again), they rise from the ashes (again and again), and it takes at least three great failures before things get easier.
Just be sure to repay your debts of friendship with generous interest as quickly as you can. And build credit (trust) with them before you need their help. The economics of friendship is not something to ignore. [grin]
Thank you for your help. Please let me know how I can help you at stan(dot)faryna(at)faryna(dot)com.
Stan Faryna recently posted..Are you comfortable faking it? And other social media DOHs.
Hi Stan
I really like what your trying to do.
Change for ever one and helping others
is great.
Bonnie
bonnie squires ( recently posted..Love is six parts giving and one part talk
Thx so much, Bonnie. It is great when many work together for one.
Great post you have here Janet. What I like to do if I need help is I do my research first, then if it’s still not coming to me, I will ask for help. I like to join certain groups on skype, facebook, linkedin and betternetworker to ask for advice and help. Definitely helps out a lot doing these. Thanks again!
Keep it up!
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Pete, aloha. Thanks so much for your kind words which are much appreciated. No doubt with your participation in all those groups, Pete, you have plenty of people who are able to help you.
Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your approach on this topic. Aloha. Janet
Hi Janet, You are so right! When I was a finalist for a contest, I took a deep breath before reaching out and asking for help. Luckily for me, Christian paved the way and showed me how to ask for support from others. Wow, and when I did I got incredible support that meant the world to me, including from you, Janet!
I am thrilled to be able to support you, Janet. Thank you for reaching out. I think you will find that your friends are delighted to have an opportunity to show their gratitude to you for all of the support you have given to others.
I wish you the best of luck with this exciting new venture!
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Carolyn, aloha. Let me begin by thanking you for your support which is so appreciated. Since you recently went through something similar yourself, you know the head games involved.
Carolyn, no doubt I was emboldened by the fact that you, Christian, Yomar and several others had recently reached out to your online friends. Had I been the first, I am not sure I would have taken the step. It was young Christian who led the way.
Again, Carolyn, thanks so much for your support. Should you have any other ideas in terms of how to promote it, please do let me know. Best wishes for a terrific rest of the week. Until next time, aloha. Janet
Janet aloha. Crowd funding is a wonderful way to help others and what an interesting project you have embarked on here.
You have always given of your time and spirit most generously to me and I am happy to support you Janet in whatever way I can. Consider it done and may I wish you much success with this new project.
As for asking others for help: I can’t say I am very good at this either although I am getting better at this too. This probably has to do with having had to grow up fast as a youngster which meant I had to become independent fast too.When this happens one tends to rely on oneself. It is not always in one’s best interests though and I have had to learn the hard way to step aside from my pride on more than one occasion.
Besides the project challenge Janet you have shifted your own growth as far as asking for help is concerned. Congratulations for being brave and growing some more Janet. We never stop expanding and it is wonderful to share in your continuing and exciting journey Janet.
I look forward to all the reports to come which I have no doubt express much success.
~Marcus
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Marcus, aloha. Let me begin by thanking your for your generous support which I truly appreciate. Marcus, I believe you will find some of the online presentation tools included in the Perks of benefit to you for your new direction.
Crowd funding is a terrific idea and I can see tremendous possibilities for it. Once I learn more about the process through my experience, I look forward to sharing that information with others.
Marcus, asking for help was huge as I am sure you can well imagine. What’s interesting, Marcus, is that if felt “right” to do it yet I was reluctant to do so. Already I have learned much about myself as well as a few things about some other folks.
Thanks again, my friend, your support and encouragement. Until later, aloha. Janet
Hello Janet
I hope you will reach your goal on this project.
I’ll help out with tweeted it. Same with Stan and
the others I believe in to.
bonnie squires ( recently posted..Love is six parts giving and one part talk
Thx so much, Bonnie: I appreciate your support.
Hi Janet,
Two days, when I had finished commenting on your blog, my computer was struck with a virus. My browser window stopped reacting and I lost whatever I wrote . Infact it took me two days to recover from the nasty malware.
Meanwhile, I went to a number of internet forums looking for solution and fortunately someone experienced the same problem before. Thus I found the solution to my problem. I am wondering what would happen if there were no one to ask .
In technical world at least, a person can never know everything hence it is a good idea to ask if you are stuck with something. The solution could be simple and close but you can never guess it. I think asking for help at those times is really productive because it is not possible to solve all the bugs on our own.
Asking for help is very very important and if we hesitate we will not be able to complete our work in time or in right manner.
Congratulations on your new project. I am going to share this post on fb, twitter so that more people know about it.
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Ashvin, aloha. Good to see you again though I am sorry to hear about your virus problem. So glad that you asked for the help you needed and you found it readily available for our wonderful online community.
Thank you so much for your support; I appreciate it.
Best wishes to you for a wonderful weekend. Until next time, aloha. Janet