Webster’s Dictionary says:
Puzzling: to mystify; confuse; baffle
Puzzle: a toy, problem or contrivance designed to amuse by presenting difficulties to be solved by ingenuity or patient effort
Though they may be variations of the same word, the difference between them is vast.
If you find life puzzling, you likely act more as an observer than a participant. You stand on the sidelines and wait for it to make sense. You wait for the right time, for people to do what they “should” and for a clear path to emerge.
Sorry to tell you this, however, life doesn’t work that way.
What if instead of being puzzled, you look at life as a puzzle. Your life is the puzzle of your design—the people, the places, the pleasures and the pains.
Now let’s sit back and look at how to work your puzzle with you as a participant.
To begin, look at the big picture. What do you want your life to be? Don’t get hung up on the details.
Next put in your border. Your core values are the border. Once you determine those, your decisions are easier because your behavior is a reflection of what you believe. This gives you a sense of order and security.
Add color and texture. Experiment. Try new things, use a different approach, don’t be afraid to fail. Everyone learns by doing; the more they do the better they get at whatever they do.
If something is not working, take a mental break or start working on one of the other pieces of your puzzle. When you return, your perspective likely will have changed and you will see what’s the next logical step.
Be patient. This puzzle will last your whole life; don’t rush it; don’t force it. If something isn’t a fit, let it go. Leave the “shoulds” aside because your puzzle will be better without them.
Create your masterpiece one conscious choice at a time.
Your life, your puzzle, is put together bit by bit, piece by piece with love and laughter smoothing the rough edges.
Be a participant; not an observer.
“Puzzle: . . . contrivance designed to amuse by presenting difficulties to be solved by ingenuity or patient effort.”
Looking at life as a puzzle, I have to say that on more than one occasion I have been “amused” by difficulties which definitely required ingenuity and patient effort to resolve.
How about you?
Can you see life as puzzle with you making the pieces fit?
How else is life like a puzzle?
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janet@janetcallaway.com
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I personally find the puzzling leads to solving the puzzle.
My personal habit is to ponder on alot of things. For example.. if I had a discussion with a friend… I would think about how I felt. How I thought she/he felt. What struck me and why? How did I come across? Did I eat too much cheese? etc. And through these muddling of thoughts comes ideas, inspiration, and motivation.
I think if we just plow ahead… and not reflect (albeit based on your excellent puzzle framework. Everyone needs a foundation) then we don’t grow and learn. All we are.. is ahead.
Laurinda, aloha. If we have our foundation, our core values and know where we want to go, then we are good to grow!
Puzzling definitely can help you solve the puzzle because they are a part of the process. As you say, Laurinda, as a result of muddling through your thoughts “comes ideas, inspiration, and motivation.” That is the color and texture as well as the rearranging of the pieces that don’t fit.
Laurinda, best wishes for a glorious Sunday. Until later, aloha. Janet
Janet aloha. Love the analogy!! You very cleverly and aptly used the puzzle idea to convey how similar the approach is to life.
There are a few things that come to mind I’d like to share here:
From time to time it’s it’s good to share your puzzle with others. They can often help you find a piece or show you how it fits when you just couldn’t see this yourself.
The joy in building an actual puzzle is not the finished product as this is short lived. The joy comes from engaging in the process. As you point out Janet, life’s puzzle lasts all of one’s life, so don’t wait till the end to feel joy, feel it as you build.
A life puzzle is dynamic in that it can and will change so don’t get hung up on waiting till you have the perfect big picture before starting. Just start and it will get better and better as you go.
A puzzle is best worked on consistently over time knowing that you have the power to bring all the pieces together as long as you don’t give up.
Thank you Janet for another awesome read and for letting me add to the discussion.
Hope you’re having a fun weekend. Enjoy what’s left…
~Marcus
Marcus, aloha. Love your additions to the puzzle. Absolutely it is good to share your puzzle with others so they can give you a different perspective on how the pieces might fit. Oftentimes when we are challenged in our attempt to get it as we want, we lean too close and cannot see the whole–much like not being able to see the forest for the trees. A fresh set of eyes can help us to see the big picture once again.
It is the journey, the process and the satisfaction that comes from seeing pieces fit; we need to celebrate our successes along the way. No reason to wait for the end because, though our time on this planet may end, the puzzle continues on even as we find satisfaction in the completion of a section of the puzzle. How exciting is that to know there is always more?!
You know what’s so great about the puzzle, Marcus? We each get to create it as we want it to be. We can keep moving, shifting, adding and discarding the pieces as we choose; each of us can create our masterpiece. No matter how much a like two people are, each has different colors and patterns that are unique to them.
Wishing you a week filled with love, laughter and delightful surprises. Marcus, thank you for enriching my life. Until next time, my friend, aloha. Janet
Life… is the cardboard that the puzzle is printed on. At bottom, it is neither puzzling nor a puzzle. It’s the substance and flow of events. (This is where I depart from Taoism/Buddhism; I believe there’s something called substance. But, the Tao that can be said is not the real Tao, and so on.)
The puzzle is something you choose to finish or abandon. When you leave a puzzle behind, there’s another one waiting for you.
It’s all about choice, isn’t it?
John, aloha. Your comments always enchant me, make me think as well as smile.
John, I love “Life . . . is the cardboard that the puzzle is printed on.” The pictures of the puzzle are ever shifting and changing–as it should be.
You’re right, of course. Whether we force the pieces, finish the direction or abandon it, the choice is ours.
Thx so much for the twists and reframing you give, John. Your way with words always delights me. Best wishes for a splendid Sunday. Aloha. Janet
Hi Janet,
just like Marcus, I love the analogy. I don’t find my life puzzling, but I don’t like puzzles very much…chances are I am not patient enough. Well, I do them with my kids (and they’re not very difficult), but I can’t remember when I did the last on my own.
What are the missing pieces in life ? Well, first of all we need a clear picture of what we want. It’s much easier to solve the puzzle when we have a picture of the end result, is it not ?
And then we have to put consistent effort into it, patiently, try a piece here and there and disccard it when necessary.
This post isn’t as harmless as it seems
Contains a lot of food for thought.
Thanks for sharing your insights.
Take care
Oliver
Oliver, aloha. Your comment “This post isn’t as harmless as it seems” made me smile.
Interestingly enough, while, like you, Oliver, I do not care to do “official” puzzles, I do like to figure out how to make things works in my life. And, if people ask, I love to help them do the same.
It is as you say, Oliver, we need to begin with a framework of knowing what we want. From there, we add, discard and make adjustments so it fits the image we have in mind.
Oliver, knowing what I know about you, it seems you are doing an excellent job of finding the pieces that work best for yoru puzzle and discarding the ones that don’t.
Best wishes to you, Oliver, for a most excellent week. Until later, aloha. Janet
Janet,
This post immediately reminded me about how much I learned about the process of this thing we call life when I painted with oils for the first (and last) time. It was a very large piece and I was thoroughly disgusted by the look of it and cried every time I stepped away from it. I almost threw it away a few times. But I kept at it, moving the paint around and adding details layer by layer. In the end it was beautiful. The keys for me were having a photo of what I was painting (the big picture), courage to do something new- getting that first bit of paint on the canvas around which everything else would develop (core values), and the tenacity to learn by paying attention to what my eyes were seeing and not what my brain was telling me would look right, (adding color and texture), and finding out that adding another layer was possible (being patient).
Thanks for reminding me of that experience! Excellent post.
Besty
Betsy, aloha. Your comment is an absolutely magnificent addition to my comments section. Thank you so much for sharing your wonderful story.
Out of curiosity, what prompted you to paint the picture and, why, since it turned out so well, did you not continue to paint?
Betsy, you tied your painting experience in with the puzzle analogy beautifully. Again, thank you so much.
Thx so much for stopping by and sharing your story. Wishing you a magnificent week. Aloha. Janet
Janet,
Thanks for getting back to me so quickly, AND for visiting my family history blog! That meant a lot to me.
I painted the picture for a grieving mother who’d lost her daughter a month earlier in a horseback-riding accident. I called her after reading her story in the paper and thought, “I can offer this!” A picture of her daughter on her horse, not knowing the challenge I was going to have! It took months. I do pen and ink best. Oils and children aren’t easy! They are curious and oils are messy! Thanks for asking . Betsy
Betsy, aloha. What a wonderful story; I am so glad I asked. What a priceless gift you gave that mother. No doubt the picture you so thoughtfully painted holds a very special place in their home as well as in their hearts.
Betsy, that was a terrific story about Brody. How thrilled you must have been when he shared his thoughts with you.
Wishing you a glorious week. Aloha. Janet
Another great analogy Janet!! You do come up with the best ones.
Even at my age I had the hardest time coming up with those pieces of the puzzle. This is going to sound really ridiculous for most people but growing up I didn’t have just one or a few things that I really loved to do. When it got time to decide what I wanted my future to look like, I still had no idea. Later in life I even attended a seminar called “What do you want to be when you grow up”. I’m just now finding all the pieces to that puzzle, at this stage of the game. But you know what? At least I finally found them and I guess that’s all that matters right!
As always, thanks for such an insightful post. You always get me to thinking which is a good thing!
Hope you are enjoying your weekend Janet.
Adrienne
Adrienne, aloha. Guess what? I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up! In the meantime, I am having a wonderful time moving those puzzle pieces around.
Martin Luther King, Jr. said: “You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.”
Adrienne, our puzzle is much the same. We don’t have to see the whole image, we just have to start putting in the pieces.
Delighted to hear that I stirred up the brain cells; always love what happens then.
Best wishes to you, dear friend, for an absolutely incredible week. Until next time, aloha. Janet
P.S. Thx so much for introducing me to Brad. It looks like there are two spots left so I sent him a note and told him “Adrienne Smith sent me.”
What!!! You still don’t know what you want to be when you grow up? Now I don’t feel so bad! Wow, who would have thought!
I love that quote by Martin Luther King Janet. It continues to be one of my favorites.
I’m glad you sent a note to Brad and I’ll be anxious to see what he does for you too. I’m excited, how cool is this! Best to you my wonderful Hawaiian friend! Have a splendid week!
Growing up is vastly over-rated!
Adrienne, I will do what I have always done. Each life, do what I want to do and when it no longer works for me, do something else.
Each day dawns bringing with it new discoveries. Who knows what tomorrow may bring?!
That is a great analogy, Janet! I can relate to life as both puzzling and a puzzle. I love to observe and reflect on what’s happened with fitting the latest pieces into the puzzle so that I can find the perfect fit for the next piece. Typically it seems that whatever happened with my last piece is what makes the whole puzzle clear enough for me to see much more easily see where the next piece(s) of my life belong!
Deb, aloha. So glad you liked it. Deb, we don’t have to knew where all the pieces fit “at the beginning” because as we grow and change, the picture on our puzzle changes. The last piece does play an important part in knowing what the next piece is.
Deb, I absolutely loved that list of quotes you published. Interesting, isn’t it, to look at who said what and their perspectives.
Best wishes for a wonderful week. Until next time, aloha. Janet
Hi Janet,
Splendid!
By picturing your life as you want it to be, you see the puzzle. Instead of being confused, you see clarity, gain focus, and life is no more so darn puzzling.
Thanks for sharing,
RB
Thx so much for stopping by, Ryan; so glad you enjoyed it.
Best wishes for a terrific week. Aloha. Janet
Aloha Janet
!
Wow, Aloha really sounds so welcoming….lol.
Another amazing & mind opening post there
!.
Its truly God’s miracle that each of us is a an important piece of a great puzzle. We all are here for a purpose, each of us has a cause and reason as to why we are here. As your rightly said, we are not meant to be the observers & wait for the “right” time.
It is Always the right, and by our active participation we create opportunities, we make & design new possibilities, we open up new dimensions, we are a most amazing piece of a puzzle that can ever be, we can choose, we have a free will, we have the capabilities, the abilities, the creativity, the limitlessness, as i mentioned in a quote of mine in a post
Align your Mind, Body & Soul, and you’ll feel the power of your limitlessness ~ M. Faizan
Patience is truly a virtue in all spheres of our lives, when we start experimenting we explore new possibilities, we come to know of our new capabilities & abilities, new interests.
And Participation, WOW! when you realize the role you play and the roles you can play, you realize your true potential, it fills you with Love, Wonder, Power, Passion, Compassion, Strength, Amazement, the sense of adventure, the adrenaline thinking & feeling what great wonders Life holds and how we are a part of it, constantly designing, evolving, flowing, moving and SO much more
! Its an experience which lasts forever, in each of our moments, in everything we do, with Love, we beautify it & the best is brought in from our hearts.
LOL!!! I can keep on writing when it comes to commenting on your posts, Thank You so much for sharing such a wonderful post with us
!.
Hope you have a wonderful new week ahead & May God always Bless you & all your loved ones with immense Happiness & Love
!
MF, aloha. Thank you so much for your epic comment. In fact, I am very tempted to “cut and paste” your entire comment into the Reply section and say after each point “Yes, I agree, MF or You’re so right, MF.”
MF, from the depth of your comment, it seems that this post resonated deeply within you for which I am grateful. Your comment delights and amazes me with the cloth it weaves.
Thank you, MF, for this beautiful expression of thought and feeling. Take good care, my friend. Aloha. Janet
Puzzle…and even Puzzling.
So I’m in that giant game, trying to find the right place for all pieces flying around me. Sometimes I win and sometimes I make mistake. That’s ok (that’s part of the game, right?) as long as I am trying to be a participant.
Sometimes I feel like being a part of gigantic game. It’s like Tetris
Absolutely, Klaudia, and you are definitely someone who is in the game! You are very much a participant.
Thx so much for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. Best wishes for a terrific week. Until next time, aloha. Janet
P.S. Speaking of next time, I am very excited about my post that is going up later tonight entitled “Unexpected Pleasures.” Do check back to read it.
Hola Janet!
I sometimes think we are on the same wavelength with our posts
I gave up a long time ago worrying about the pieces that don’t fit. You just gotta roll with the punches that life throws at you. I’m glad I learned that early in life. Life is similar to a puzzle. What if a piece doesn’t fit? Jam it in there and hope the rest of the puzzle works? We know what happens then.. the puzzle buckles and we have to start over.
Likewise, in life if we try and force it, odds are life will buckle and knock us on our butts! I’ve also found that rolling with the punches allows me to conserve energy to find that last piece and have a gorgeous puzzle in front of me.
I used to think that Law of Attraction was a quack! But I’ve embraced it, and now focus on the WHAT I want, and let the universe figure out the how.
And most importantly Janet, I always love reading your posts. I always take something away from them and by the end of the post I’ve always got a smile on my face. Hope you are well!!
Justin
Hi Janet,
I love the play with words here and the analogy of the puzzle you have used is beautiful
I am not a puzzle person in general and would like to add that life is not as puzzling as some make it up to be. The other day, when a decision had to be made, I asked the person “Just tell me yes or no, there is no need for that much drama!” Once I got an answer, the issue was resolved.
I think we tend to add more pieces to the puzzle than necessary to make it more puzzling when they aren’t even needed to make up the puzzle!
“What do you want your life to be? ”
This is my favorite like from above. We must realize we have to ask ourselves this exact question. We also must realize that we can MAKE it happen!
Life to me really isn’t all that puzzling. “Be a participant; not an observer.” An that is exactly what I am. Participate. Make things happen. Enjoy things WHILE they happen.
Life is too short just to watch everything pass by – no way!
I must go out there and experience it all!
Life, I guess you could say, is a puzzle. But for me it is organized. Cutting out my own pieces and placing them where I want them. The day I enter the casket is the day I place my last and final piece.
Janet,
I enjoyed your post. Too often I have fallen into life being puzzling, looking at the pieces in confusion. What power and freedom comes when I remember I am to do something with them, put them into place or discard them, not just sit by and wonder how they fit, what the final picture will be.
Thank you for the encouragement to look at life as a puzzle. It’s a reminder I needed.
Aloha and welcome to my blog. It is always such a pleasure to greet first time visitors.
Thx so much for letting me know this post resonated with you. That you are aware of the difference that it makes when you participate, when you put the puzzle together, bodes well for you designing the life you want.
Best wishes for a terrific weekend. Until next time, aloha. Janet
What a beautiful analogy, Janet! I especially love how you say: “This puzzle will last your whole life.” It’s why patience is so important with any kind of puzzle. And sometimes, we need to just let it go — when we come back, we have a new perspective on how to make the pieces fit.
I also love how this analogy stresses the important of experimentation and trying new things! I’m no superhuman and I can’t always visualize how pieces can go together, especially if they’re rotated and if there are tons of pieces. It’s all about getting in there and trying to put different pieces together. In my imagination, this really speaks to being fearless and jumping in more often in life to challenge ourselves. =)
Sam, aloha. Good to see you. This phrase “being fearless and jumping in more often in life to challenge ourselves” is exactly how I see you putting together your puzzle pieces. There are tons of pieces, however, you are a very active participant in mixing them up, moving them around and making them fit for you. And, Sam, it’s your puzzle, it’s your life so they must fit for you, for your picture.
Best wishes to you, my friend, for a wonderful Sunday. Until later when I visit to see what’s happening in Peru, aloha. Janet